Tuesday, May 19, 2015

The whole story

Here is a complete - {unedited} version of my story. 

 Firstly, the hand of god has been there from the beginning. I can see God's hand literally in some (actually all) of the things that have taken place.
I was having weird headaches. The kind that would come powerfully and then linger. I figured I was staying to get migraines again. (They started around January). They were daily, but I didn't have the time and didn't really care enough to go to the Dr. 
March came and I started getting sick. Very nauseous all the time. I'm talking, I couldn't get off the floor for hours on end because I was so sick to my stomach. I didn't throw up much, just was very nauseous. I'd have good days and feel like maybe it was just a bug going around and then be floored, quite literally, a few days later. 
I went to the doctor and he said he thought my posture was causing my headaches and that my nausea was from taking Tylenol and ibprophen so often. I knew something else was wrong so I asked if we could do more testing. He grudgingly agreed to do a ct scan. It was scheduled for a week later. 
A few days later, I was laying on the floor (pretty much my new normal) and skyping Blake. He insisted I go to the er, but I told him I figured I was just being a big baby. After I got off the phone with Blake, Grace came in, in tears and told me she missed the mommy that wasn't sick. She asked what was wrong with me and I told her I thought maybe I had caught the stomach bug again. She said no, mommy, there is something else wrong. So I decided to take my kids to the neighbors and run to the er to get some nausea meds.

I got in fairly quickly and they basically said, so, uh, you are having headaches and you are really nauseous?  I was like,  YES!  I know it sounds crazy, but yes. The er doc was doing his normal exam, where you follow their pen with your eyes and where they shine the lights and see how they dilate and things like that.  Well while I was following his pen with my eyes one eye bounced back. I could feel it do it, but couldn't control it. It only did it two times and then stopped doing it. He said sometimes it does that because we are tired, but since I had a ct scan already scheduled, that they would go ahead and do it. 
When he came back in (super quickly) with the results, I knew something was wrong. They found a quarter sized cyst on my brain stem and that he had no idea what it was from, but it was pushing right on my nausea center of my brain. (So ha! I wasn't crazy! Was honestly my first thought). He figured they would basically just drain it and all would be fine, but they said that they didn't have an MRI to get a closer look, but the naval base hospital about 45 minutes away did. So I told them I'd head over there Monday morning and get the scan done (it was late Saturday night). He said, oh no, you are going now, there is an ambulance coming.  So I had to call and make a whole bunch of arrangements for my kids and to get a quick blessing before I left and then we went to the naval hospital. 
As soon as we got there,  there was a neurosurgeon there (middle of the night on a Saturday) and they got the MRI done right away. I finally got a hold of Blake via skype and told him what was up, and who had the kids and that he may have to come home early, but I didn't know. As I was talking with him this sweet neurosurgeon came in (she's in her late 60's, and I learned later she was a nun, and then God told her she needed to be a neurosurgeon, so she became one!) She took the phone from me and told Blake he needed to get home asap. And then handed it back and told us both that I had a lesion on my brain, with a big brain tumor nestled in it, with a cyst on top.
 And then she left so Blake and I could talk. I was so in shock but Blake started right then and there getting things ready for him to get sent home from Korea. We had so many questions (was it cancer, where it come from, etc) but they said they couldn't answer any of our questions until it was out of my head. So I posted a plea on Facebook for prayers and immediately felt peace. 
My mom and Blake came quickly (Blake got there by that Tuesday afternoon) and the day before my birthday (about 4 days after they found it) I went into surgery. 

After 8 hours, we came out knowing more.  The tumor is called an Ependymoma, it is extremely rare in adults (we are talking 1 in a million) and that it was cancerous. And sadly, they couldn't get it all out. They did get 98% of that bugger out of me so it was good!

I should interject here, I have felt 100% peace this entire time. I haven't been scared ever. I haven't been worried or overwhelmed. We have actually all made it kind of a funny thing, lol, and 'it's not a tumor' is how my dad likes to answer the phone, and I use the whole 'I'm right cause I have a brain tumor' lots of times too. Lol!

Anyway, healing wasn't fun. It was tough and painful and hard. But I then got moved to a rehab center to help me re learn to walk and things. It was a whole month from the time I went to the emergency room till now, I finally got released from rehab.
I am going to be getting radiation treatments done at John Hopkins cancer hospital in Baltimore. It'll probably be around 6 weeks of treatments. The prognosis is good.  
Things are tough sometimes.  Getting back in the swing of things is hard. I'm tired all the time. Headaches are difficult to control sometimes. And I have a hard time controlling my movements. 
My testimony is stronger than it has ever been. I have seen the hand of the Lord in the big and little things in this trial. I am so happy. Happier than I ever have been before. Because I know my Savior is here, He is helping me with everything. And it's amazing.


2 sweet thoughts:

Nguyễn Ly said...
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