forgiveness

i was reading in my journal the other day, and came across an entry that made my heart ache. 

amiss the silly "i love so and so" and the "this sibling did this or that to me" entries was this one:

dec. 19th, 95

im exsided about christmas.

{a cute drawn Christmas tree with presents underneath} 

i draw bad.

i'm skinny. (a person i don't want to name) makes fun of me. because im skinny i think. 

{two stick figure people, one happy with a little thought bubble saying "haha!" the other, sad crying, with 2 thought bubbles, each with the message "i'm stupid".}

my heart doesn't hurt because of the bad memories, the bad spelling :), or even the fact that i hated myself so much. it hurts because i don't think i have forgiven (a person i don't want to name). that breaks my heart so much. 
especially after watching this:

 as i watch this video, i realize that this man, this amazing and spiritual man, can forgive the teenager that took his family away from him, and turn toward the Savior for comfort and peace. 

i realize that i can forgive a now sweet girl that hurt my feelings in elementary school. i hadn't turned toward my Savior for this pain, but i realize that he can take this hurt away too. even if it pales in comparison to the pain this man, his family, the young man and even his family must feel.

i love my Heavenly Father. i love my big brother, Jesus Christ. i know without a doubt that he is my Savior. i know that he lives, and i know that he died for my sins, for my pain and for my misgivings. 

to learn more about our Savior head over to http://mormon.org/jesus-christ/